Jumat, 11 Juni 2010

Difficult People

"How do you deal with difficult people?"

I was asked with this question in an interview. For some people, the answer would be "I would ignore them" or "I'll avoid any friction with them" etc. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I try to stay away from this kind of people, they are always around me!

Difficult people tend to create problems and conflicts with others where ever they are. One thing difficult people never know is that they make other people feel unpleasant. And this is their major problem.

When people were offended by you, sometimes they don't tell you. They create negative image about you behind your back, and spread it wide to kill your credibility. This counterattack has a more dangerous and longer effect. When someone is labeled as a public enemy, life's gonna be hard for him. He will be thwarted in every attempt he does in his career, business, etc.

I've found some people like this in almost every occasion. I can see their struggle in achieving things, despite the difficulties they face with the "public enemy" label. I salute them for their toughness, but I regret for their unlucky position.

The problem is: if they don't know that they have made other people feel unpleasant, who is the one who should have told them not to do such things?

Children are raised to copy their authority figure and are told to obey them. When the authority figure (parents) teaches good things, children will copy and believe that everything that has been taught to them comes from a reliable source: their parents. Problem appears when parents don't give positive examples. Children will copy this attitude because of the "reliable source" reason, but when they grow up and accept public's refusal against them they will face a double problem: a reaction against public's treatment and a dilemma toward their beliefs.

I'd like to say that "difficult people" are only "people with difficulties", or "people who lives in a difficult situation."

I remember when I answer that question in the interview, "I would try to understand them, show them sympathy, and be their friends."

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