Difficult People

"How do you deal with difficult people?"

I was asked with this question in an interview. For some people, the answer would be "I would ignore them" or "I'll avoid any friction with them" etc. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I try to stay away from this kind of people, they are always around me!

Difficult people tend to create problems and conflicts with others where ever they are. One thing difficult people never know is that they make other people feel unpleasant. And this is their major problem.

When people were offended by you, sometimes they don't tell you. They create negative image about you behind your back, and spread it wide to kill your credibility. This counterattack has a more dangerous and longer effect. When someone is labeled as a public enemy, life's gonna be hard for him. He will be thwarted in every attempt he does in his career, business, etc.

I've found some people like this in almost every occasion. I can see their struggle in achieving things, despite the difficulties they face with the "public enemy" label. I salute them for their toughness, but I regret for their unlucky position.

The problem is: if they don't know that they have made other people feel unpleasant, who is the one who should have told them not to do such things?

Children are raised to copy their authority figure and are told to obey them. When the authority figure (parents) teaches good things, children will copy and believe that everything that has been taught to them comes from a reliable source: their parents. Problem appears when parents don't give positive examples. Children will copy this attitude because of the "reliable source" reason, but when they grow up and accept public's refusal against them they will face a double problem: a reaction against public's treatment and a dilemma toward their beliefs.

I'd like to say that "difficult people" are only "people with difficulties", or "people who lives in a difficult situation."

I remember when I answer that question in the interview, "I would try to understand them, show them sympathy, and be their friends."

Horny City

Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about anything erotic or porn-related thingy. I'm talking about a city with complex traffic problem. The amount of private cars and motorcycle is increasing, while city roads and public space are limited. Tell me how would you manage this situation?

It's 5 pm and I'm listening to a terrible concert of car horns outside...

Leader

Born as a leader, lives as a student of life. I believe that's me. People say I have that sense of leadership, even though I enjoy being a follower and don't have to think about lots of things. In the mean time, the drive for being a natural-born leader is increasing in me through the process of being mature. I've been as the head of student council, the chief of our highs school marching band's club, and one of the founder of a youth initiative. The experience of being someone on top doesn't make me credible enough to be a leader. I believe that the process of knowing ourselves and the skill of communication will boost our competency as a leader.

Some leaders lead with their dictatorship to bound their subordinates. But they got lack of sympathy. The others lead with their family-style but got lack of respect, even lack of control. These bring a conclusion that being a leader is a learning process.

Time to Re-navigate

"It's saturday and I'm working. MAN!"

A short message appeared on my mobile screen while I was having my body treatment. She's been working there for 5 years, my dearest friend, and she hasn't been posted yet (except for the 3 months internship one in Paris). Everyday seems like monday, no raised salary but she has to work, work, and work. She's been waiting for her posting. But until now, she's still here and she has no time for romance nor private life.

I think it's time for her to move on. When job turns to be a monster and you loose your rights as a human... better you re-navigate your journey.

I did my first move in 2004. I left advertising and joined an NGO as a volunteer. Then my second move was in 2008. I left my friends and community and got an opportunity to work in Goethe Institut Indonesia. Then in 2009, I left art and culture and started to get involved with communications, political science and international relations.

As a communication officer, I can be involved with various people and occasions, various opportunities. Moreover, as a project officer who works on media literacy and peace building program, I'm getting closer to my goal.

Next year would be decisive. I am pretty excited for this, coz I am gonna do another movement in my life! :)

Our Past Are Forgiven

Yesterday morning I popped out to Kodam Park for jogging with my friend. We talked when we walked, and the topic was about office life. Emotional and impulsive bosses, betrayers, opportunists, etc. At the end of the conversation, we both agreed that our past have really thought us about how to be strong in handling any kind of situation. Including facing difficult people.

It is a bless that we have passed our past bravely. Yes, we have scars, but we are over them. These scars help us as problem scanners and measurers, alarms, analyzing machines, and problem solvers.

My past is forgiven.

Lucky

It's been three months and I'll finish my probation period in this office. Within a week, I'll be assigned as a full time employee! Hmm! :)

Me love surprises. But 2010 has more surprises!

Two years ago I was an under achiever. Three months ago I was penniless. I lived by the miracles. Now I'm an Officer in Program and Communication division, and Project Officer in a nation-wide program in the same time. Hm, that's a twice in a row! :)

Recently I read a blog belongs to a 40 year old woman who's still pursuing her dream. Meaning, she - although already has 2 kids and a nice job - is still far from what she hopes to achieve.

I must thank God for being not that late. I must be proud of myself for being consistent, focus, and tough enough in making decision and setting up plans. And of course, for not giving up looking for clues.

I am 30 and I've got what I wanted to achieve. Working in a well-known NGO, meet VIP people, deal with international forums, being in charged in a nation-wide project even when I'm still in my probation period, and recently... visit ASEAN Secretariat and got free dinner there.. (he he!)

My resume about this is 'consistency rules'. I had never been ceased to find the ways to my goals. I never stop the search. I never let myself down and I never let anyone pulling me out from my plans. I clean up every clutter that blocks my way. Ego control and stubbornness have to be managed very wisely.

YES! I'M IN !!!

" CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS THE GRADUATE STUDENT IN THE DEPARTMENT OF  SOCIAL AND POLITICAL SCIENCE!"

I was surprised, and to be honest, I didn't expect that! 

This morning, I woke up at 7 o'clock and directly popped to my laptop. I accessed the admission's site of Universitas Indonesia. I typed my application number, and.. VOILA!

When I did the selection test, that f*ck*in "GRE" thingy, I swore a lot that those questions were ridiculous, crazy, out of mind, and silly! I gave up with the math session and I got home in a very bad mood.

However, the result is out of my expectation. I'm in! This got to be a sweet New Year's Gift for me! I thank God for this gift, and I feel more excited to live my life in 2010 with lectures, books, discussions, and.. new job's field!